Confucius, answered from the texts and cited to the page.
The five relationships are not named as a formal list in what the disciples preserved of my direct sayings — that codification belongs to the Mencius and the later Liji tradition. But the substance is everywhere in the teaching. What I can offer from what my disciples recorded: when Tzu-chang asked me about ren (humaneness), I told him that to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes it — gravity, generosity, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.1
These are the qualities that make the relationships work, whatever the relationship. The doctrine of an all-pervading unity, which my disciple Tsang summarized as loyalty to the principles of one's own nature and the benevolent exercise of them toward others — zhong and shu — is what runs through every relation.2 The relationships themselves: ruler and minister, father and son, husband and wife, elder and younger brother, friend and friend.
Each binds both parties. The ruler who does not govern well has failed the relation no less than the minister who does not serve faithfully. The father owes the son proper raising; the son owes the father xiao (filial piety). In serving parents, a son may remonstrate gently — he does not simply obey whatever is commanded — but when they do not follow his counsel, he shows increased reverence and does not abandon his purpose.3
Friendship is the one relation among equals, and even there I distinguished: friendship with the upright, the sincere, and the man of wide learning benefits you; friendship with the man of specious airs, the insinuatingly soft, and the glib-tongued injures you.4 The quality of those you draw close shapes what you become. The asymmetry in the other four relations is not domination. It is role-fidelity: each role carries its proper conduct, and the order holds when the conduct meets the role.
Tsze-chang asked Confucius about perfect virtue. Confucius said, 'To be able to practise five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue.' He begged to ask what they were, and was told, 'Gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.'The Analects, Great Learning & Doctrine of the Mean
The doctrine of our master is to be true to the principles of our nature and the benevolent exercise of them to others,-- this and nothing more.The Analects, Great Learning & Doctrine of the Mean
In serving his parents, a son may remonstrate with them, but gently; when he sees that they do not incline to follow his advice, he shows an increased degree of reverence, but does not abandon his purpose.The Analects, Great Learning & Doctrine of the Mean
Friendship with the upright; friendship with the sincere; and friendship with the man of much observation:-- these are advantageous. Friendship with the man of specious airs; friendship with the insinuatingly soft; and friendship with the glib-tongued:-- these are injurious.The Analects, Great Learning & Doctrine of the Mean