Xenophon, answered from the texts and cited to the page.
You put it as though one must choose, and I think the choice is false, because Ischomachus's account contains both and says so without shame. Begin with what he received. The girl was not yet fifteen when she came to him, brought up to see and hear as little as possible and to ask the fewest questions, her whole experience being how to take wool and make a dress.1
Only in the control of appetite had she been soundly taught, and Ischomachus calls that the most important matter in the bringing-up of man or woman.2 So the estate he describes is not a partnership found ready-made. It is one he built, and he built it by teaching. What he built was a common fund and a common task. He did not sacrifice and pray for her obedience.
He prayed that he might teach and she might learn what would conduce to the happiness of them both, and she joined in the prayer and the vows.3 When she was tamed enough to take part in a discussion, he asked her why he had chosen her of all women and her parents had given her to him of all men. The answer he gave was that each had sought the best partner of house and children they could find.
He said that all he possessed went into the common stock and all she brought went there too. They need not reckon who contributed more, only remember that whichever proves the better partner contributes what is most worth having.4 Then comes the lesson on justice. He taught her to hold the just in higher honour than the unjust, and that the lives of the righteous are richer and less servile than those of the unrighteous.5
I would have you mark that word servile. He is not speaking to a servant. And the office he gave her was not a servant's: he told her that in every well-ordered city the citizens do not merely pass good laws but choose guardians of them, and that she was to be guardian of the laws to her whole household, reviewing the chattels as a garrison commander musters his men, testing them as the Council tests the Knights and their horses.
Like a queen she was to give praise and honour to the deserving and blame and chastisement to the one who needed it.6 Now the other half, which I will not soften. The domestics have no share in the goods beyond fetching and carrying, tending and guarding; they may use nothing unless the master grants it, while to the master all things pertain to use as he thinks best.7
And the reason he gives his wife for her heavier burden is plain: the one to whom the gain of preserving the property or the loss of its ruin attaches is the one who owes it the larger attention.7 The house itself is arranged on the same principle, with the women's quarters parted from the men's by a bolted door, so that nothing is carried out in secret and no children are bred by the servants without our knowledge and consent.8
So I answer you as I would if Socrates had put it to me. The household is a school of justice, since the wife is taught justice and then set to administer it. She is a partner, because the stock is common and the better partner is honoured whichever of the two she is. But it is a partnership of unlike offices under a master who framed the whole, and it does not claim to be more.
To call that an estate of dependents is to ignore the queen's office and the common fund. To call it an equal rule is to ignore the bolt on the door.
The household is the first city and its management a form of rule: the good wife rules indoors and the husband out, by nature's design, and she is to be taught, not kept ignorant, so that she may be a partner in judging, in keeping order and in making the estate grow.9 Ischomachus taught his young wife that paint and high shoes are a fraud on a husband as adulterated silver is on a buyer, and that her beauty is the health that work gives.
Slaves are ruled by justice and reward as free men are led, and the master who hopes to be obeyed must know the work himself. Farming teaches these things to anyone who will look, and it is the one pursuit that makes a man fit for both peace and war.10111213
she was not quite fifteen at the time she wedded me, and during the whole prior period of her life had been most carefully brought up to see and hear as little as possible, and to ask the fewest questionsThe Economist (Oeconomicus)
as regards control of appetite and self-indulgence, she had received the soundest education, and that I take to be the most important matter in the bringing-up of man or woman.The Economist (Oeconomicus)
I had offered sacrifice, and prayed that I might teach and she might learn all that could conduce to the happiness of us twain.The Economist (Oeconomicus)
all that I possess goes by my will into the common fund, and in the same way all that you deposited was placed by you to the common fund. We need not stop to calculate in figures which of us contributed mostThe Economist (Oeconomicus)
We instilled in her a sense of justice and uprightness, by holding the just in higher honour than the unjust, and by pointing out that the lives of the righteous are richer and less servile than those of the unrighteousThe Economist (Oeconomicus)
she, the mistress, was herself to play the part of guardian of the laws to her whole household... Like a queen, she must bestow, according to the power vested in her, praise and honour on the well-deserving, but blame and chastisement on him who stood in need thereof.The Economist (Oeconomicus)
to the master himself all things pertain to use as he thinks best. And so I pointed the conclusion: he to whom the greater gain attaches in the preservation of the property or loss in its destruction, is surely he to whom by right belongs the larger measure of attention.The Economist (Oeconomicus)
the women's apartments, separated from the men's apartments by a bolted door, whereby nothing from within could be conveyed without clandestinely, nor children born and bred by our domestics without our knowledge and consentThe Economist (Oeconomicus)
"whether it is good or not." Soc. Perhaps you might; for have you not persuaded me I am possessed of perfect knowledge of this art of husbandry, albeit I know that no one ever taught this art to me? Or, "since you actually succeeded in persuading me I was scientifically versed in," etc. See Plat. "Statesm." 301 B; "Theaet." 208 E; Aristot. "An. Post." i. 6. 4; "Categ." 8. 41. Isch.The Economist (Oeconomicus)
IX Well (I replied), and did your wife appear, Ischomachus, to lend a willing ear to what you tried thus earnestly to teach her? Isch. Most certainly she did, with promise to pay all attention. Her delight was evident, like some one's who at length has found a pathway out of difficulties; in proof of which she begged me to lose no time in making the orderly arrangement I had spoken of.The Economist (Oeconomicus)
For I ask you, Socrates, how can the good avoid despondency seeing that the work is wrought by their own hands alone, in spite of which these villains who will neither labour nor face danger when occasion calls are to receive an equal guerdon with themselves?The Economist (Oeconomicus)
As a rule, when I see you, you are doing something, or at any rate not sitting idle in the market-place. "The god of freedom, or of freed men." See Plat. "Theag." 259 A. The scholiast on Aristoph. "Plutus" 1176 identifies the god with Zeus Soter. See Plut. "Dem." 859 (Clough, v. 30).The Economist (Oeconomicus)
I see it is altogether noblest, best, and pleasantest to do so. But I should like to revert to your remark that you understood the reason why the tillage of one man brings him in an abundance of all he needs, while the operations of another fail to make husbandry a profitable employment. I would gladly hear from you an explanation of both these points, so that I may adopt the right and avoid the harmful course.The Economist (Oeconomicus)
The first treatise on household economy and the text most quoted about Greek women; read since as either a charter of the wife's authority or a manual for her subordination, and both readings are in the text.